The Green Crack

A friend of mine posted a picture of a restaurant menu page showing a description of a sauce they called Green Crack.  With curiosity, I began to search the internet for answers.

The first recipe I found was basically a cilantro puree.  It had some vinegar, salt, mayo, and olive oil.  We found this recipe delicious - but I later found out the original sauce posted by my friend had avocado...so I went back to the drawing board.

I like to think of sauce recipes as living documents...but here's where I am with the Green Crack today:

1 bunch Cilantro - washed, patted dry
1 avocado - diced
2 garlic cloves - minced
2 tbs cider vinegar
3 tbs mayo
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cajun seasoning
2 tsp lime juice
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil

Combine all ingredients in a blender or food processor, and blend smooth.

Dip grilled chicken in it, dip veggies in it, schmear it on steak, spoon into tacos...enjoy!

That Smell

Driving to work this morning, I found myself at a traffic light behind a (probably) 20-year old Jeep Cherokee.

As I'm waiting for the light to change, I started to look over the old girl.  She's got one of those off-road roof rack baskets with a full-size spare in it, and a big red fuel tank.  The body is dark green, and the paint has been applied via rattle can - and applied whimsically in places. I can see overspray on the license plate and a few other places. There's a cargo strap wrapped around the tailgate, and it's attached to the rear set of side door handles - presumably holding the tailgate closed.  The wheels are a bit oversized, and the suspension's been lifted a few inches.

All that said - it's idling nicely...has a good exhaust note.

When the light changes, a pretty good amount of smoke emerges from the vehicle.  My first thought is; well - it's an old Jeep...probably has some formidable ring wear and is burning some oil.  But then the smell of the smoke makes it's way through the vents of my trusty Crown Vic, and I realize it's running rich - because I also smell the distinctive odor of excessive fuel burning.  The amount of smoke producing this combination smell isn't overwhelming - but certainly noticeable...especially when trying to make it up a large hill and the driver gives it more throttle.

But that's when the truth hits me: I like that smell.

Tom Brady Should Ask the NFL to Follow the Rules

I'm no Brady apologist, and I don't like the New England Patriots...but for the life of me - I don't understand the four game suspension, the $1 million fine, and the loss of draft picks.

Yes - I'm aware of the fact that he lied.  Yes - I'm aware of the fact that his actions may have provided him (and his team) an unfair advantage.  Furthermore, I'm aware of the fact that he deserves to be punished.  He broke a rule, and for that - there are consequences.

You may ask, "What's your problem, Jay? Dude got what he deserved!"

Well...no - he didn't.

According to the NFL rule book, the penalty for tampering with a football is a $25,000 fine.  There's no fine print underneath that provides stiffer punishment for playoff games, or high profile players.  There's no addendum with a $1 million fine if there's suspicion of prior ball tampering.  None of this penalty is in the rule book.  It's arbitrary, and nonsensical.

I'm just glad the NFL's jurisdiction starts and end with the NFL.  Can you imagine if Roger Goodell was a police chief?  He'd be like, "Yes, Mr. Brady.  It appears you were speeding...32 in a 25.  Now the normal fine for that is $115 plus court fees - but since it's you, we'll just make the fine $1,750.  Have a nice day, Mr. Brady.

The Brunswick Stew

I've worked with a number of a great people over the years. Thanks to the internet and social media, I'm still in touch with a great many of them. One of the best was Bill. He owns a small company where I worked twice; once in the mid-90's, and then again in the early 2000's.

Bill is a guy with a great sense of humor. I recall on the day he hired me – he started out with a pretty straight forward interview...asking a few questions about my skills and experience. After a time, he paused looking out the window, and then turned to me and asked, “Can you cuss and drink coffee?” I responded affirmatively and was hired on the spot.

Although Bill is extremely knowledgeable in his field and possesses determination and a work ethic like few I have ever known, it was often difficult to get a straight answer from him...due to the fact that he seems to get great pleasure from messing with people. Case in point: the Brunswick stew recipe.

The first summer I worked for Bill, he made an enormous pot of Brunswick stew at the company picnic. It was amazing, and I immediately asked if he would share the recipe...but he declined. During my second tenure of employment with him, I tried again to get the recipe – but was turned down again. Over the next ten or so years, I would periodically touch base with Bill via email and ask for the recipe...always being turned away, but figuring maybe one day persistence could pay off. In February of 2011, I asked once again for the recipe, and received the following response....

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An Indian and his son are sitting by their campfire.

The son asked, "Father, how do Indians get their names?"

The father says, "When the mother is in the teepee giving birth, and the father hears the baby's cry, the first thing he sees will be the name of the child. Our tribe has Running Brook, Soaring Eagle, Fallen Leaf, Prancing Fawn, and Black Crow."

The son thinks a minute and says quietly, "Oh, I see."

The father says, "Why do you ask this, Two-Dogs-Fucking?"

So, my question to you is, why do you ask this, Two-Dogs-Fucking?

Are you doing something personal or public? Private or passed to someone else? Commercial or in the secrecy of your own kitchen?

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After I assured him it was for personal use only – he finally shared the recipe. I still haven't made it yet...as it calls for 23 lbs of chicken and a 12 gallon stock pot...but having it feels like victory. I guess persistence does pay off.

Politicians Breaking the Law - Scandalous!

Campaign signs on a public street in Arlington

Anyone who's not in the sign business probably hasn't given much thought to the laws pertaining to signage.  If you're one of those people - let me tell you, the laws are extensive and can be complicated...and they extend to political campaign signage, too.

Here in the Commonwealth, we just had a gubernatorial election.  That's a pretty big deal, and it got a lot of attention...and a lot of signage.  State laws in Virginia allow political campaign signage on private property starting 75 days prior to an election, and mandate removal no later than 15 days after an election...on private property.  There's also an allowance for signage near polling locations on election day itself - not to be placed within 40 feet of the entrance.

However, maybe you've noticed all political campaign signage doesn't take up roots on private property.  Maybe you saw an occasional roadside sign...on a median or street corner.  I did a little research on the codes, and one government site says and I quote, "State law prohibits putting political campaign signs on roads and medians."

Wow. If I understand that correctly - that means our honest and trustworthy gubernatorial candidates (and pretty much all candidates for this and other offices, past and present) are breaking the law prior to even getting elected to office!

I'd love to call a politician breaking the law scandalous, but the number of people in line to be shocked by it would rather be short.  That said - is there a point to all this?

What stands out to me initially is a politician's blatant disregard for the law - minor or not.  After that, leaving the signs behind after the election shows a willingness to litter all over what the consituents call home.  Granted, it hasn't been 15 days since the election...but that regulation only applies to signs on private property - not the ones that were never supposed to be there in the first place.

Until the political funding/contribution laws get a much needed overhaul - the candidates were getting plenty of support last time I checked.  May I suggest you save some funding for after the election - to hire a few unemployed people to walk along the highway and pick up all your trash? That would be great...thanks.

Single Origin Ethiopia: Charbucks Strikes Again

When roasting coffee, stopping the roasting process at a lower temperature produces a lighter colored bean. It allows the flavors of the bean's origins to come through after the beans are ground and brewed. There's more to it than this - but I'm keeping this blog simple.

Allowing the beans to roast to a higher temperature produces (you guessed it) a darker colored bean. This produces toasty carbony flavors, and often a complex sweetness from the caramelizing of the natural sugars in the coffee. 

Coffees from some regions of the world seem to lend themselves better than others to a lighter roast.  This roast is often referred to as a "City Roast", or a little darker is a "Full City Roast". Ethiopia produces some of my favorite coffees, and when lightly roasted the resulting brew has amazing floral and fruity flavors. So when I heard Starbucks was releasing a single origin Ethiopian coffee - I was anxious to try it out.

I'm sad to report that the SBX Ethiopian is roasted too dark. Mind you - it's a delicious cup of coffee, but to roast Ethiopian coffee into dark roast territory destroys all the lovely happiness that occurs in a light roast.  

Starbucks makes plenty of dark roast coffees....so many, in fact, they earned themselves the nickname "Charbucks" from many of the coffee aficionado crowd. Not only do they not need another dark roast coffee in their lineup, but roasting Ethiopian this dark is senseless. 

I suppose after nearly falling in love with the Kati Kati blend SBX released a few months ago - my expectations for the single origin Ethiopian were unrealistically high. Unfortunately, I'm having trouble distinguishing a difference between this and their French Roast (although admittedly I'm finding it more interesting, and will surely try it again).  

SBX Ethiopian synopsis? Good coffee - yes. Better than the celebration of mediocrity that is Pike Place - yes. Good  Ethiopian - no.

Freezer Error

I babble about coffee incessantly.  Although some may find it annoying or monotonous, sorry; I have no intention of changing.  One of the side effects of all my drivel has been that people have come to think I am somewhat knowledgeable on the subject of coffee.  To that end - I'd say I know a few things, but have far more to learn than I keep between my ears.

Experience has taught me there are a fair number of misconceptions about coffee.  One that I see most often is storing coffee in the freezer.  There's a right way and wrong way to use your freezer for coffee storage, and most folks are doing it wrong.

The error occurs when you take coffee in and out of the freezer repeatedly - like for daily use.  This is a problem because coffee is porous...which is fine and dandy if you like flavored coffee.  Although I don't care for flavored coffee - the porous nature of the bean means it easily absorbs the flavored syrups and oils.  However, it also means it'll absorb other things...like the flavor of seafood or the moisture that your freezer produces. This moisture will steadily deteriorate the oils in coffee and make it taste freezer burned. Wrecking the oils wrecks the flavor.

So what's the right way to use the freezer?  If you buy a quantity of beans that's more than you will consume in a month or two, you are at risk of the flavor profiles in the coffee beginning to change from the coffee getting old and stale...this is the oils deteriorating.  To avoid this, seal the coffee in an airtight bag - getting as much air as possible out of the bag.  Then put it in the freezer and leave it alone (I double bag mine using the thick freezer bags).  When you're ready to use it - remove it and store it at room temperature.

Once out of the freezer, keep the beans in a dark place and sealed in an airtight container or bag.  I like containers with crock style lids - which I find regularly in thrift stores for a buck or two. I store containers inside a kitchen cabinet.  Furthermore, keep the beans whole until you're ready to brew.  The flavor profiles of coffee can begin to change within an hour of grinding, so avoid grinding in advance.  And for the love of all that is good - avoid the shared big commercial grinder at the stores...who knows what was ground in there before you put your coffee in?  Even a cheap $15 blade grinder used right before you brew is far superior to using the in-store grinder.

So keep it sealed, use it as close to the roast date as is possible, and never, never, ever keep it the refrigerator.  That's the worst.  Life's too short to drink cheap coffee...but good coffee is too expensive to not treat it right and get the most out of it.